Anger in oncology patients - use the "traffic light" technique
- davorkust
- Oct 6
- 5 min read
Updated: Oct 8
Authors: Antonija Vrdoljak, Master of Psychology; Vanja Putarek, PhD, Master of Psychology
Anger is a common human emotion that arises in situations of threat and violation of our rules. Although it is often considered an unpleasant emotion, anger has a purpose – it helps us stand up for ourselves and provides the body with energy to act and confront threats. However, if it lasts for a very long time and if it is suppressed or expressed in an inappropriate way (for example, by behaving excessively aggressively or “taking it out” on another person), anger can become maladaptive. The changes in the body that it causes energize us in the short term, but in the long term they can have negative consequences, such as increased levels of cortisol (the stress hormone), increased blood pressure and heart rate, and adverse effects on the immune system.
Physical illnesses pose a threat to a person’s health and lifestyle, and can also lower mood, which is conducive to the development of anger. Therefore, it is not surprising that anger is a common reaction of people with cancer to receiving news of a diagnosis, to the treatment and/or its consequences, and to the changes that need to be introduced into daily life. Sufferers may direct their anger at themselves, their loved ones, doctors and medical professionals, the disease itself, fate or (if they are religious) at God. Thoughts may arise in the form of the question "Why me?" or anger at healthy people from their environment, who do not have to fight the disease and its consequences. Sometimes anger appears only after the most intense part of the fight against cancer has passed, during the period of remission, when the person is no longer fully focused on treatment and looks at everything that has happened up to that point with a distance. Anger is understandable and expected in all of the above situations. Doctors sometimes notice that in some sufferers anger also plays a positive role - it creates resentment and increases the desire to fight the disease. However, when expressed inadequately, it can significantly reduce the quality of life, jeopardize relationships with close people or the course of treatment, since the previously mentioned changes in stress hormone levels affect not only physical reactions, but also rational decision-making and reflection on the situation. Likewise, suppressing anger and not allowing ourselves to express our own unpleasant emotions is not a good way to deal with the situation. In addition to the fact that suppressing anger does not actually stand up for ourselves, some research shows that it also leads to negative physical consequences, such as an increased sensation of pain. A certain amount of anger is expected in oncology patients, but it needs to be expressed in an appropriate way.
The first step towards controlling anger is certainly recognizing that we are angry. Sometimes people don't even notice that they are irritated, but others around them notice that they are behaving more aggressively than usual or that they have a "short fuse". Therefore, it is necessary to pay attention to ourselves: are my breathing and pulse accelerated, do I feel tension in my muscles, can I think rationally and manage my behavior or is anger controlling me? Furthermore, it is necessary to allow ourselves to feel anger, but also to determine where it comes from, what causes it. Behind angry behavior towards others often lies fear and uncertainty that arise as a result of an oncological diagnosis, which is important to note. In addition, there may be other emotions behind anger, such as sadness, shame, disappointment, which the person tries to “suppress” (e.g. the person finds it difficult to admit these emotions or thinks that they cannot cope with them), but ultimately the hidden emotions come to light in the form of anger (below the text there is a description of the emotions that can be behind anger – the so-called anger iceberg). After determining the source of anger, we can ask ourselves what exactly we get if we express it aggressively and direct it at close people. Will this help us cope with the situation? Or will it make our relationships more difficult, distance us from those who provide us with care and support, reduce our desire to participate in treatment and lead to an even worse mood?
In order to express anger in a calmer, more constructive way, we can use the traffic light technique. When we notice a high level of irritability and anger, imagine a red light on the traffic light and at that moment we stop and do nothing. Although it is difficult for us to imagine that we will calm down in a fit of anger, anger actually begins to dissipate over time, ceases to be “hot” and reckless, our traffic light “turns green”, which allows us to observe the situation sensibly and do something about the real problem. For example, it is possible to imagine that overly expressed concern for family members or avoiding talking about the disease in front of the patient can cause irritability and anger in a person with cancer. Although at that moment the automatic reaction might be to yell or withdraw angrily into oneself and constantly increase the anger by thinking, we can choose to stop, wait for the level of anger to decrease and then notice what bothers us in the given situation and calmly share it with those close to us. As in other situations in life, conversations will be much more open and simple if we have them at a time when we are not actively angry, and sharing our emotions with others makes them easier to deal with.
If we feel that we have difficulty controlling our anger, especially at the beginning of dealing with it, it is good to briefly step away from the situation that causes it (for example, take a walk around the neighborhood), but then return and talk about what is bothering us with loved ones. In dealing with very intense anger or anger that is not directed at something "tangible" (e.g., anger at illness or fate), relaxation techniques can also help, such as abdominal breathing (we wrote more about this technique https://www.onkologija.net/post/anksioznost-kod-onkolo%C5%A1kih-patijenata), mindfulness, meditation or listening to relaxing music, and expressing anger in some other, non-aggressive way can also bring relief - for example, through physical activity whose intensity is similar to the intensity of the feeling of anger (e.g., walking or running fast, riding a bike). It is important to remember that our body and mind use anger to signal to us that we are experiencing a threat, but it is necessary to channel anger in an appropriate way so that it gives us energy and helps us persevere in the fight against cancer, instead of being our enemy.
References:
5. Davies, W.: Overcoming anger and irritability. A self-help guide using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques
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